It shouldn't be. But it is...NINE YEARS!

Today is a big day for me!
A day that according to my surgeons and doctors should never have been celebrated.

In 2004, I underwent extensive GI surgery hoping to eliminate the chronic pain I'd been dealing with related to Crohn's disease.  At best, I was told, I might get 3-5 years of pain free living and even then I'd likely need medication to manage it.

It seems to me today that maybe they forgot to factor in HOPE.  They knew what they knew- but not what HE knew.  And boy HOWDY did He show them.

Because after:
One hike to the bottom of the grand canyon

Lots of half marathons (three while pregnant)

Four babies (three completely without medication).

And a ton of other fun...

I can officially say:

9.  Nueve.  Neun.   Neuf.  Novem.  Nove.  Nau. NINE YEARS!!  

Pain free.  And not just that, but medication free as well.

Don't be confused by this list of my accomplishments over the last nine years.  Join me in recognizing that there is not a single ounce of any of that I could have done.  Oh, sure- saying "it shouldn't be" was great motivation for me to try (it is so strange that my kids have a stubborn streak).  But when I see this list, stare into those sweet faces, remember how far we've come...welp, I'm simply overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with praise for the ONE who provides beyond what we can ask or imagine.  The One who grinned at the thought of "maybe 3-5 years" and delighted in providing so much more.  

And don't be confused.  If today was different.  If there comes a day when it IS different.  Whether there are 9 more years, 3 more days, or a lifetime of living without pain- I'll still declare HIM mighty to heal.  I'll still shout out "HE is mighty to save".  I'll still remember that He is doing more than we can ever imagine.  Don't get me wrong- it won't be easy.  There are other areas of my life that have certainly proven that hope doesn't mean "what I want, when I want it".  Other "miracles" I've HOPED for have tested my willingness to believe.  But isn't it always true that the best things are worth fighting for, and lots of times you WILL have to fight for them.

I'll fight for Hope every.single.time.  I will chose to believe in miracles.
It just so happens that today it is easy.  Today is a day to celebrate.

It shouldn't be.  But it is.

And that's simply miraculous.

ABL

All dressed up with someplace to go

I hear the wedding planning business is a booming one.

Apparently, brides are willing to shell out big bucks if you will make her day perfect.

I could write a whole book about my thoughts on that matter.

It probably wouldn't be very popular.

But if I'm going to tap into this booming wedding business, maybe instead I should write something called:

"Being the mom of the wedding parties' mini-members."
With the subtitle 
"You are going to need a LOT of pennies"

Its not that I have any kind of marketable knack.
Its just that my children have made a grand total of 20 combined appearances 

(in 8 separate weddings).

And you can't do that and not learn a few things.

Like buying miniature tuxedos on ebay.
We own four tuxedos (in two different sizes) with an assortment of ties

 as well as an array of flower girl dresses.

And the trick of giving bribes which fit in their pockets or baskets- like pennies.

Surprisingly enough, I love it when my children are asked to play this special role.
Having my children be the mini-wedding-party-members honestly doesn't stress me out (anymore).

Don't get me wrong. There has been quite a lot of trial and error.
Mostly error.
(like the time KJ's newly polished BLACK shoe came in contact with a brides beautiful WHITE dress)

We've definitely had to make some adjustments to our wedding routine over time.

Mostly we've learned that you can't roll at the same pace or schedule as the rest of the wedding party
Which is actually how we got these pictures.  All 6 of us were hiding out. Outside.  
Far away from the rest of the getting-ready-for-the-wedding-hub-bub.

We've learned that since the majority of brides and grooms have never been parents- shockingly, they don't really get why certain times of the day and certain situations are recipes for disaster.  And they shouldn't have to be worried about those things on their big day.  So, only we-their parents- can really advocate for our kiddos.  Which means,  I've even said "no" to requests that I thought wouldn't be in their best interest.

But when the requests are reasonable (even over-the-top but still reasonable)-

You just figure out ways to make things fun so they'll want to participate.

You have to plan to do things that they don't normally get to do.

And you have to talk about the cake.

A lot.

So, if you are looking for a circus to entertain during your big day,
I happen to know where you can find one.

OR, even better,
if your kiddos are the ones invited to play this special role- just remember:
Nothing they can do can actually keep the bride and groom from getting married.
Even if they do invite the father-of-the-groom to play catch with the ring pillow mid-ceremony.
So sit back and enjoy your children being dressed up and doted on.
It's that simple.

Well, that-
 and bring a lot of pennies.

ABL

This series of pictures is one of my very favorites of these four blonds.  I love that we captured them exactly as I imagine I'll remember this stage in life- a lotta parts crazy with even more parts adorable.  We snapped away while we waited for the summer wedding of RRL's sister to begin.  And if you think these pictures are silly...you should see the ones from when three of these rascals figured out the concept of the photo booth at the reception.

Being in the top 0.1% is a Rough Gig

It has been officially confirmed.  My children are in the top 0.1%.
But being tops is not always all it is cracked up to be.

Don't get me wrong.  I already knew I have some pretty AH-mazing kiddos. I mean seriously stellar. KJ's reading level, in first grade, astounds me. He can read a story and really bring it to life. Cbug can do math in his head so quickly it makes my own head spin, counting by crazy numbers like 8 and doing simple division (he just started K). Lou's nurturing instincts are off the charts, she can read people in a way that is wise beyond her years. And the way Tito says "thank you" is enough to make me wanna buy him a pony (nearly).

 When you get me started talking about my kids its pretty tough not to brag.  But all of this is purely based on my own 100% biased, cuz I'm their Momma, opinion. And I'm totally cool with that. I think my kids are the best, smartest, funniest, cutest, sweetest in the world. Because they are mine.

This week that all changed.  It is now absolutely official.  I have real scientific proof that my four children are in a category above nearly all other humans on the planet (or at least those tested by certain manufacturers of cleaning products). To be honest, I wish I didn't have this proof at all- because it turns out, my 4 kiddos have germs that are more persistent than approximately 99.9% of all other germs. I know because I've used this.

and this.

and this.

not to mention a homemade solution.

All trying to kill the germs in our house that have resulted in nearly 3 weeks of stomach bug/flu. All 4 kids have had it. It comes and goes. But mostly comes. In three weeks, I think we've slept through the night twice without waking up to puke...or um, the other.

We are exhausted. Running low on patience. And I've cried plenty a "I must be a terrible mom" fit into my pillow. But that isn't going to be where I stay in all of this. This stinkin' bug remains, but it doesn't get the victory at our house. If it lasts another day or another month (PLEASE LORD JESUS NOT ANOTHER MONTH)- it doesn't win. satan (with a little 's' even at the beginning of a sentence) would like nothing more than to use this trying time in parenting to rob me of my confidence, joy and purpose which is from The LORD. I'm convinced that sneaky rascal would like nothing more than to let this be about more than just a stomach bug.  he'd love to see a real battle.

As I kneel beside my children while they hug porcelain AGAIN. Or worse, as I kneel on all fours to clean up where they "missed". that conniving devil meets me there. he's whispering in my ear those age old lies to moms about being inadequate, not trying hard enough, failing, not employing every possible tool, comparing to other moms, etc. And today I'm choosing to remind myself...
I'M NOT LISTENING.
ABSOLUTELY.NOT.GIVING.IN.

Because I believe in a God who is bigger.  One who may love to surprise me, but is never sneaky or deceiving. One that doesn't have to meet me in the bathroom. He doesn't meet me there because He is consistent.  Walking with me all along. He is the one already with me as I've laid hands on my children each night, as I've begged Him to cleanse our home, as I've cried out in my sleep (or lack thereof), as I've spoken scripture over them, as I've longed for understanding and direction. And He's the one who is with me when I don't feel like doing any of it.

I feel quite certain that many of you have some genius ideas about how to fix this ole nasty stomach bug for us- and I'll assure you... I've tried (or at least googled) 99.9% of them. But even if I haven't. I'm gonna ask you to refrain from any "tips" on fixing this. Be mindful of my fragile Momma state and instead, today, will you simply join me in the REVOLT.  Join me in choosing hope in parenting, even over silly things like the stomach bug.

Join me in choosing laughter in these down and dirty Momma moments.  The ones you know will pass quickly (gross pun intended), but you still gotta work hard to find a bright side. Today, my silver lining is this:
If it could be cleaned, washed, thrown away, scrubbed, sprayed, or bathed...it has been.
More times than I can count.
Yet, those stinkin' germs persist.
So at least we've got this going for us:
My kids (or at least their germs) are top notch-
in the top 0.1% of the whole wide world.
And now I have proof.

Hooray for us.

ABL

ps- stomach bug, you are now free to leave. officially.

FDOS- The one I didn't see coming

This is the last one.  

I promise.

But when your kids, who were supposed to start school all on the same day

spread it out over the whole week-

well, it takes several posts.

And the last was certainly not least.

After sadly missing his first two days of school, KJ finally got his big day on Thursday.

The First Day of First Grade.

There were lots of things I knew to anticipate about the craziness of the first week of school-

the paperwork, the meetings, the schedule changes, the emotions, the lunches, the routines

But I didn't see this one coming.

I knew the brothers would be thrilled to walk into the building together for the first time.  

I correctly assumed they would come home at the end of the day telling tales of seeing each other in the hallway and cafeteria.

But what I didn't expect

was that this guy- the big brother of the group- would be so apprehensive.

Looking back, 

I totally should have seen it coming.  

Because he'd missed the first two days, he was walking into a situation where everyone else seemingly already knew what to do.  And he didn't know what to expect.

I should have know that because last year didn't go like he expected, he would be unsure about starting another year.

He melted in beside me as we walked to his classroom, squeezing my hand and sticking a little closer than usual.  And I totally should have known that my boy who LOVED being at home all summer would not be over-the-top excited about restarting the days of being away so much.  

But my very first indicator, should have been before we even left home.  After I'd snapped a few FDOS pictures of this big guy.  He squeezed me and said "How about one of just you and me?"  UM....YES, PLEASE!

As he sat in his desk and I could see a few tears welling, I couldn't decide whether to just cry so he'd feel better about letting loose, too.  Or walk away quickly to make it easier for both of us.

In the end, I did neither.  

I leaned in close, hugged him just the right amount for a big first grader AND still a little bit my baby,

and whispered in his ear...

I love you.

You've got this because God has made you a mighty encourager.

Find others to help and encourage and the day will fly by.

I will always and forever be proud of you.

I can't wait to hear all about it when I pick you up at 3.

And then I left.  I didn't get to see a change in his eyes, like I did his little brother.  But when I picked him up- bounding toward the car- the van door was barely open before his excited voice proclaimed "I GOT A TICKET" and various other fdos victories.

Even going back and documenting the day now, 

I'm flooded with prayers for my children and their time in school.

Oh, Lord, give me strength to let go.  Help me find ways to prepare my children for the paths before them, but not hold on so tightly they miss the opportunities to soar alone.  Forgive me when there are times I miss the opportunities to speak your blessings into them.  Flood their days with the power of your love and grace.  Help them have confidence in knowing that they are YOURS.  And Lord in that confidence, give them opportunities to hold their heads up and proclaim your name.  

Conqueror of fears, giver of good gifts, Lord.

Even on the first day of school.

Amen.

It's a good thing this was only the 2nd year of many starts of school.  Because apparently this Momma still has a lot to learn.  About myself.  About my children.  About school.  About my God.

Nope, I didn't see that one coming at all.

ABL

Lou and Her Brother (who finally got a blog name) Go to School

I mean, its not a competition.
Not at all.
But if it were,
it just got stiff.


I didn't think anything could top Cbug's fdos story and pictures.  He was so handsome, so silly, so cooperative.  But then RRL took these pictures of Tito and Lou before they headed off to their first day.  A little less cooperative- but oh my, in their coordinated outfits and adorable signs (thank Kristi) and the spikey hair beside his sister's pink bow.  That boys' sly little smirk and the princesses sparkly shoes. Welp. Just go ahead and MELT.MY.HEART.

I was more than a little bit disappointed that our FDOS that didn't go like we planned meant that RRL would have to take Tito and Lou in for their first day without me.

I was already torn up on the inside about my baby going to "school" but to not get to walk him in myself.... on second thought, maybe I'm not quite ready to talk about it.  Let's just get back to the adorable pictures.

The good news is, our little spikey haired darling is one of only 5 kids in his "class".  With 2 teachers.  Add some bonus hugs through the day from other teachers and friends (who already love his big brothers and sister) and he is hardly deprived or forgotten.  Quite the opposite.

And, of course,
he has big sister around to watch out for him.

Lou is already loving school.

Jumped right in, even after missing the first day.

And hasn't looked back.  Poor thing, it is certainly sad she doesn't have any confidence.

She was made for school.  She would probably rather be teaching it, but she'll settle for this in the meantime.  She loves reading to her babies, or brothers.  She loves writing her name.  She loves colors.  She loves SCHOOL.

So glad these two will spend the year together being so well loved at a place we've come to love.   Its the only way I'm able to keep working, even part-time, knowing that they are there.You certainly do become bonded to people that spend so much of their time caring for your treasures.  And the sweet people at this little preschool go way above and beyond.  Can't say enough good things about them.  What a blessing!

FDOS #2 for our casa.  Check.
ABL

*as a fun note- I'm trying out a new blog-name for the baby-est member of our team.  I just didn't like that "Little Bear" isn't any sort of derivative of his real name.  It doesn't match the others.  I know.  These are the quirky things I think about.

Cbug's First Day of School

Technically, it was EVERYONE's first day of school.  All four were supposed to start their school adventures today.

But as is often the case when you have lots of small children, this day did not go as planned.

KJ and Lou both woke up sick during the night.
And since I was staying home with them anyway, Little Bear stayed, too.

Which means...

THIS GUY

had the first day of school alone.

It stinks because he and KJ were SO pumped to finally be going to the same school again.  They've been counting down to this day.  And on meet the teacher night last week they were attached at the hip with excitement.

This was Meet the Teacher night.  Watch out world when these two DO get to arrive at school together.  Sheesh.
(shockingly, the above photo shoot was completely unscripted)

Which is actually why in some ways, I'm glad Cbug got to fly solo this morning.
It's funny.  I kind of feel like I've written this post before.  Could be deja vu, or it could be that it actually happened before. Like maybe the first day that KJ and Cbug were supposed to go to the same preschool.

Even without KJ, Cbug had plenty of silly to cover the fdos pictures.

While I would never EVER wish the last few hours on KJ.  Poor guy is miserable.  And I hate that he had the disappointment of missing his first day.  I sincerely do.

But Cbug is just a different kid when he's forced to forge ahead alone.  He and I got to walk to school, just the two of us (well, when I could keep up with him).  He didn't stop talking the entire time.  He was so excited, he could hardly stand it.

I got to walk him to his classroom without dividing my attention. 

And I'm so glad I did.  Because as we headed down the hall, he becames more than a little bit unsure about the whole thing.  Not necessarily sad or anxious even, just trying to absorb it all.  There were people passing all around, people calling out instructions, so much to see hanging in the hallways.  He was definitely over stimulated- and I saw that familiar look in his eyes.

The one that says "In about 5 seconds I'm either going to need to hide somewhere ALONE with my legos or I'm going to completely breakdown."

Even with me snuggled next to him- this was his face.

Which is why his teachers first words to her "babies" was MUSIC to both of our ears.
"Boys and Girls, you have three choices.  You can either read a book, play with playdough at your own desk, or just listen while I talk to the Mommies and Daddies."

She was speaking his love language.

In his own world- happy with playdough.

And as he worked on his very own blue playdough, it was like he had just a few minutes to regroup alone (even in the crowd) and get ready for his day.  I might have missed that transition in his eyes if I'd had to rush over to KJ's class.  And I can honestly say, after I saw him shift, I was easily able to walk out without a tear (from either of us).

Wow what a difference!

It was certainly disappointing that RRL didn't get to be there.  And such a bummer that he and KJ didn't get to share the first day.

But I'm incredibly thankful for those moments this morning with my big Kindergartner.

At big school
For the very first time.

LOVE HIM!
ABL