Celebrating Ordinary Joy

I'm an ordinary mom.
I have four (and on some weekends- seven) pretty ordinary kids.

Hear me out on this one.

But first
If you haven't already read "Rage Against the Mini Van's" call to bring the holidays down a notch.  Start there.  It has caused quite a stirring amongst my facebook friends so I'd venture to guess you've come across it already.  I'll tell you my two reactions:
1) PREACH IT!  I'm so over the purposeless-excess at holidays (and I'm terrified of a sneaky elf that watches us).  I'm so far from crafty, I can't even tell you how much the very thought of "helping" my children make things for their classmates makes me sweat.
2) But WAIT.  Isn't there more to holidays? More to motherhood?  More than just survival, doing the minimum, making it through each day? **

Did you see this video?  From a mom, years ago, about her ordinary days with her (now grown) sons?

At first the two may not seem all that related, but last night, as I tried to figure out what bothered me about the first, I realized that the answer was found in the second.


My problem with holiday-overkill IS NOT that I think I could ever do too much to celebrate with my children.  EVER.  I love the moments we stop to create traditions.  Traditions like our Christmas countdown, or remembering Pi Day  (a day that changed our family).  Traditions like reading with their Nonna on Christmas Eve or taking pictures in the pumpkin patch each October.  Traditions like we started this year, of praying together at the playground on the First-Day-Of-School-Eve.  Traditions we've learned from others and traditions we've created or adapted to fit our family.  Traditions in which we stop to celebrate. Together.  Traditions in which we try to teach our children a bit about loving each other and extending love to others.  There's not an ounce of that I want to take down a notch. Not one.

In fact, why wait for a holiday.  What about that 20 minutes of reading, the mathfacts, or the eating dinner together?  You know. The Ordinary.  Can't those be filled with JOY.  Can't we move them off a checklist of "to be done before bedtime" and count them among our ordinary blessings.  **

Now wait, don't roll your eyes yet. 

I know Know KNOW that some days aren't too fun with a capital F-U-N.  Trust me, I know.  Remember, my child hid in the grocery store and pooped in his underwear, and another one attended a birthday party we weren't invited to, and family pictures aren't always what they seem.  And those are just the ones I've blogged about.  In fact, I'm only finding time to blog right now because I'm home with a sleeping kiddo who isn't feeling well.  Totally rearranged all of our plans for the next couple of days.  Wouldn't necessarily put that in the category of FUN.

I, too, battle the inner "if they don't start soccer before kindergarten OH MY WORD how will we ever afford college without a scholarship" and the "if they wrestle with each other to the point of death ONE MORE TIME I just might go CRAZY."  Seriously.  Everyday. 

Instead, my problem with holiday-overkill is that sometimes the moms outdoing each other via extraordinary treats sent to school and birthday parties that are the envy of our social circles takes away from the very point- the together.  the ordinary. sometimes we miss THEM, our little ordinaries (our children) in the middle of what we are doing "for them".  It might take some energy, it might take some thought, it WILL take a lot of prayer. But isn't it worth it, to celebrate JOY in the ordinary.  AND BONUS- it turns out, since a lot of us happen to agree with the notions in the blog about taking the holidays down a notch, we have some energy available to redirect.


There has to be more to motherhood than just surviving.
There has to be more to motherhood than competing and outdoing.
There is JOY to be found in the ordinary.
And we can encourage each other to find it.
And here's the thing.
THE BIG THING.
You can make your ordinary EXTRAORDINARY.  And it wasn't my idea.
It has little to do with how BIG you do holidays, whether you do anything the "right way", whether your kids were ever the very best at ANYTHING.
It has everything to do with how and why you do this job called motherhood (or parenthood).
Its from John Chapter 3, verse 21
NIV: But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.
The Message: But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is.
Did you know that verse was written for parents?  Ok, so maybe not exclusively.  But lately it has been my encouragement in all of this.  I'm not extraordinary because of what I do.  Not to my children and not to others watching me parent.  Not because I'm getting everything right (in fact, some days I'm not getting ANYTHING right).  If any GOOD comes from me, if any JOY extended to my children its because of the TRUTH. The light I'm choosing to stand in is not one I can create, but it certainly is one I can reflect.
In Holidays. And in Ordinary Days.

I'm an ordinary mom.
I have four (and on some weekends- seven) pretty ordinary kids.
Only to me, they aren't.
And I have a feeling that to them, I'm not either.
Maybe someday I'll tell them the truth, about being ordinary.
But each day I hope to SHOW THEM the TRUTH about being extraordinary.
We celebrate together.
With great JOY.
And we're taking that UP a NOTCH.

 Hopefully that's a movement you can get on board with. 
ABL

**I don't know the author of that blog.  I think she is hilarious.  I am not saying that I think she doesn't find this kind of joy in her parenting.  I just didn't read it in this one post.

The Apple

Sweet Cbug

He's the APPLE of my eye

One of them, at least

One of his favorite things to do right now

is to smile for my camera

until just right before I actually take the picture

and then

while everyone else is still smiling

he bombs the photo with craziness.

Next, he runs over to me and says "Hey Mom, check me out in that one"

He makes me laugh. WHERE does he come up with this stuff?

Well,

 it turns out this APPLE of mine

doesn't fall too far from the old tree.

Note: I was just SURE they said this was a silly picture.  I was wrong.

Note 2: This is only a handful of HUNDREDS of crazy pics of Cbug...and all of these are from the last couple of weeks.  HONESTLY.

Sure love my little APPLE and all of his craziness!

ABL

Happy Birthday, RRL.

Yesterday was RRL's birthday.

Last weekend we celebrated on the beach with my parents.

But because it was the big THREE.FIVE. I really wanted to make it memorable at home, too.

I had some great ideas.

I could write out 35 things I love about him (heaven knows it would have been tough to limit it to only thirty-five)

I could make a book of my favorite 35 places we've been together.

I could spend 35 minutes for 35 days doing something special just for him.

Truth be told, he deserves all that and more, and maybe someday I will follow through on some of it.

I did spend (at least) THIRTY-FIVE minutes dressing and posing these munchkins for some bday pictures.  That counts, right?

Instead, we simply celebrated by going to dinner at a special place that he chose.

We enjoyed dinner as a family and then a movie date alone.

It wasn't grandiose. But we were together. And I love knowing that is what makes him happiest.

Lots of people at the restaurant must have known it was a special occasion because they smiled at RRL and watched as we all followed him to our table.

Either that or it was because his daughter was wearing her tiarra and polk dot shoes, his boys were dressed alike, and he was carrying a 10-month-old that doesn't know a stranger.

Maybe that had something to do with it.

And while it may be the adorable munchkins who draw the sighs and stares,

I hope at least a few of the people watching last night were insightful enough to put together what seems so obvious to me.

That the handsome one-

the one who patiently played tic-tac-toe, took kiddos to the bathroom and was so content to enjoy his steak between munchkins enjoying corndogs and chocolate milk,

the one we were celebrating...

He's the glue.

Love you, Babe!

Happy Birthday!

ABL

7...8...9...10...

 I've never really minded the idea of my children getting older.  There are certain milestones that make me sentimental, of course, but for the most part each new age or stage comes with new and exciting things that they are learning.  Just like I'd never wish away the young years, I've also never considered asking them to linger.

Until Little Bear.  In many ways, I'm excited to catch glimpses of what he'll be like as he continues to show personality and interact more with the rest of our family.  However, I also would not mind one bit if we just stopped counting the months.  Despite my best efforts, he just keeps getting older.  I've asked him not to, but he insists on inching closer to being one-year-old, which is practically the same as OH MY WORD, MY BABY IS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE.  It is so selfish of him.

With each new month he seems to grow exponentially.  Sometime between this picture at 7 months

And this one at 8.  He could stand, assisted.

And then by this one at 9 months, he could pull himself up completely.  And with this talent, also come the ability to stand-up in his bed.  Unfortunately, it was not coupled with the ability to lay himself back down.

And by the time of this one, just a week ago (at his 10-month-birthday) he could officially crawl at lightening speeds.  He now views any closed door, drawer or cabinet as his personal invitation to F-U-N in the form of emptying the contents.    He also makes the silliest faces, can say "Da-da" and just laughs when I request a "Ma-Ma".  Oh, and he loves to eat EVERYTHING (even princesses and superheros).

Also, his reaction time to grab something that he wants has far surpassed my reaction time to keep him from it.  As evidenced by the fact that the above photo was taken seconds before the following one.  Sweet Little Bear decided that he really WANTED the camera, dove forward to grab it, and met the sidewalk with his forehead (bruise to your left).  With me sitting right in front of him. 

I'm going to have to work on my reflexes if I'm going to keep up with this one.

That, or he could just stop growing up.

And we all know which one I'm voting for!

ABL

Dad is Just like Abe Lincoln...and other February Funnies

God or Jesus and the Crocodiles
Lou goes through spells where she wakes up crying in the middle of the night, or just shows up in our room.  It is usually because she has either had a bad dream or because her legs hurt.  I totally get the legs hurting- I used to have HORRIBLE growing pains.  But the bad dreams I really want to teach her how to handle on her own (eventually) so RRL and I try to give her some things she can think or pray when she wakes up from one.  Last week when she was telling about about a bad dream involving Crocodiles trying to get her feet, I suggested that next time the crocs showed up maybe she could just tell them to go back to the zoo where they belong.  Her response:
  "Nah, I think I'll just tell God or Jesus, whichever one handles the Crocodiles, to take care of them for me"
Well, ok, then there's that option.

The Invisible Man Saves the Day
Cbug has the most tender heart toward his sister.  She is not really at an age that makes that very easy, either.  She occasionally (cough cough) tries to get him in trouble by whining or crying if he doesn't do things her way.  But he still plays with her and takes care of her (except for the occasionally frustrated lash-out which is definitely not ok, but I can't say that I always blame him either).  Recently the three of us were playing Candyland. I won.  Cbug got second.  And Lou started (fake) crying, "BUT I DIDN'T WANT to be LAST."  She was hoping Cbug would give in and let her beat him.  But instead he patiently and with much enthusiasm responded "But Sissy, you didn't get last.  There is an invisible man playing the game with us and he got fourth place.  You totally beat him and got third.  See, you aren't last."  The hilarious part (if that wasn't funny enough) was that she was totally great with that explanation.  I'm going to have to remember that.

The Monster at the Ball
Cbug and Lou, on our days of playing at home, are both having to learn to be patient with Little Bear having increasing access to the toys they leave on the floor.  Recently, they had set up all of the Little People princesses and superheros at the Castle for a ball.  They were getting so frustrated because the dancing kept getting interrupted by LB crawling right through the people, putting some in his mouth, knocking them over, etc.  At first they got frustrated but when i asked if they could come up with a way for their baby brother to play along, they invented layer 2 of the game...Now, it was time for everyone to go home from ball but they had to rush to their houses before the evil monster came out of the woods and attacked them.  (interpretation: clean up all of the people quickly before Little Bear could eat them).

Family Movie Night

It was thanks to KJ that we had one of our very best family nights during February.  Don't get me wrong, its not like it was anything wildly creative, it was a family movie night.  But somehow, because biggest brother was planning the Friday night shin-dig all week, the excitement level at our house was through the roof.  Cbug's teacher even sent a note home 'Hope you all enjoy family movie night tonight, Cbug has been telling us about it all week."  To KJ's credit, it was a well thought out event.  He chose a movie everyone would enjoy (Robin Hood- Disney version, of course) and made two lists.  The first list was the evenings "activities" which included "1)Eat and 2) Watch a movie in our PJs" and also a list of items that he needed us to buy before the evening.  Here's a photo of his "Ingredients".

The last item totally stumped me.  Turns out, he wanted dinner to be from one of his favorite restaurants "Celebrity" (with a silent H of course).

Daddy is just like Abe Lincoln

KJ really is learning a lot in Kindergarten. But often his application of his newly gained knowledge just cracks me up. For example:

KJ "When will Daddy get to be the Dad on Duty?"
ABL: I'm not sure buddy, he has tried to contact the people in charge but has not really had much success.
KJ: So, he has to wait until he gets elected?
ABL: Yeah, I guess so. He's trying to be patient but he really wants to come to your school.
KJ: He's just like our 16th president, Abraham Lincoln.
ABL (confused): Oh really, how is that?
KJ: Well, Abraham Lincoln really wanted to get elected to be Governor, but he didn't get to be but he didn't give up and then he beat the same guy and got to be president. And then he freed all of the slaves because he finally got elected.
ABL: Yep, just like that. (what was I supposed to say)

Love is in the air

We started some new traditions this year, to celebrate the big LOVE day.
I can't wait to see how these evolve over the years.

Early in the week we took turns taking our littler sweethearts on dates that they helped plan.
Sweet CTL pretty much gets a special date with Mommy every-middle-of-the-night.  So he, technically, did not participate this year.  But our littlest love sure is CUTE!

RRL took Lou.  He emphasized that her Daddy was the first one to take her on dates, that her dates should always open the door for her and that the reason he was taking her on dates was to practice how she should be treated.  She was just thrilled to dress in her pink dress, have her Daddy all to herself, and go to a fancy dinner at one of her favorite places...Moo-yah (see her best "MOOOOO-Yah expression below), followed by dessert at TCBY.  Ha, nothing like a fancy dinner of hotdogs and icecream with your Daddy. 

 

We gave the kids books, Lou's was "Miss Nelson is missing"

After I ruled out McDs and Whataburger, the boys chose Celebrity for our date.  On our way home from school that afternoon, the boys and I were planning our outing and I as trying to talk to them about how to plan a date for a lady.  I suggested that having a plan and dressing up a bit were some simple ways to show her that she was appreciated.  So, KJ suggested that they wear tuxedos on our date, since they appreciated me SO much.  Cbug was more hesitant.  When KJ mentioned the tuxes, I said I thought that would be fun and Cbug responded "I like my camo pants".  Short. Sweet. To the point.  Typical.  I told him that was fine, he could wear what he wanted, but just try to think about how he could do something for someone else.  You can tell from the pictures how he compromised.  Love him!

KJ got "Where the Sidewalk Ends" and Cbug got a book that had the collection of "Alexander" stories. 

Also, thanks to a great group from our Bible Class, and an awesome idea by one of them, we enjoyed a date swap weekend.  We kept their kids one night and traded for our date night.  I'm pretty sure we got the best end of that bargain when we took in three extra kids (one from each family), and then got to leave FOUR behind.  SUH-WEET.

Our night to keep all of the kids

Speaking of Sweet...that was the theme of our date.  My man knows the way to my heart.  I mean, other than the ways he takes care of our family, the OTHER way to my heart is my sweet tooth, especially a certain love for milkshakes.  I consumed so many milkshakes while pregnant with KJ that I gained nearly 60 pounds (no exaggeration).  But I suppose my real love for a GOOD milkshake dates way back to the years where there was a little drug store down the street from my childhood home.  We could walk down with our dollars, sit at the counter, and get a great shake and grilled cheese.  The good ole days. 

With that sentimental motivation, RRL and I went on a Valentine's quest (via google) for the best places in our area to get a great shake. And boy howdy did we have success.  When we found an article about the best 3 places to get icecream treats, realized they were within miles from each other, and each had a unique experience to offer...yet another ABL hair-brained idea was born.  One that was nearly as successful as a certain idea to go sledding in rubbermaid tubs.  I mean, why take someone else's word for which of the 3 was actually the BEST.  Shouldn't we make such a pivotal decision for ourselves?  So, RRL kindly played along when I suggested we visit all three of the establishments. For dinner.  A perfect Valentine's date if you ask me- lots of time in the car to talk, lots of time to laugh over choosing dessert for dinner, and the fun of exploring new places.

We had two amazing milkshakes and a homemade icecream sandwich.  I guess it wasn't entire for dinner, I guess, since we also shared a burger and a hamsalad sandwich.  But that definitely wasn't our "main" course.

We loved every minute of these new traditions.  Hopefully they will become part of they way we are setting aside time to appreciate the blessings of our marriage. 

And the ways we are teaching our children to love each other and to love their future spouses.  

I cannot wait until next year.

Not that we technically HAVE to wait 365 days to eat dessert for dinner again.  Right, Babe?

ABL



The Valentine Box

So. Friends with older kids.  You held out on me.  No one warned me about this thing called a "valentine box".  We got instructions to decorate a shoe box or cereal box however HE wanted.  That's it.  So I let KJ go to town with scraps of paper, stickers, tape, glue, markers, etc.  It looked exactly like you might expect from a kindergarten boy.  a big red white and pink glorious mess, and that is just the stuff that actually made it ON to the box...you should have seen the craft table.  He took it to school and well, it didn't look like some of the others.  And it certainly didn't look like any of the amazing creations I've since seen on facebook. 

To be honest, I started this post with the intention of saying sometime about how we'll be more prepared next year to turn our box into a dinosaur that really roars or the like, but as I started typing I got caught up in the mental picture I have of his face while he glued to his merry heart's content.  Nope.  I'm going to let this one be.  He's not disappointed that his box wasn't better than his friends monster box that had "sharp teeth to eat the candy" and I'm not monster-box-maker's mom (who, as a side note, I happen to know doesn't work and only has one child).  If I'll let myself be, I'm actually quite content with our mess of a box.  And I sure love my little mess maker.  And that definitely is the best valentines box making experience money can buy (not that we spent any money on it). 

But at least next year, I'll know to give myself this pep-talk ahead of time.

ABL